Gorilla at Granny's?

3:47 am
I woke up after having a weird dream.  For some reason I was at my Granny's house.  She has passed away, so no one lives there.  The house is dark and dirty.  Granny has been gone for a long time.  It's like walking through the woods in late fall.  Dead leaves litter the muddy floor, still damp from recent rains.  My feet feel heavy as I walk through the house.  I go to the garage and stand in the doorway.  Sitting in the driveway, just outside the garage, is a gorilla with his back to me.  Terror strikes my heart as my body surges with adrenaline.

In an instant I am outside.  The house sits on an acre of land and I am standing at the edge of the property line on the right side of the house.  It is dark out, but I can see things in silhouette.  The gorilla is now standing on the dirt road that runs in front of the house.  He spots me!  My heart races as he comes after me.  I start to run, but I know he can catch me and maul me to death.  Deep inside myself I call on the name of Jesus.  Courage and strength emerge. I turn and face the charging gorilla and scream the loudest animal like scream.  Then I wake up.

This was one of those dreams that doesn't allow me to go back to sleep.  I get up, make a cup of coffee and open my Bible.  I turn to Lamentations and read in chapter 3 the following verses.

I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall.  I will remember them, and my soul is downcast within me.  Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.

Lamentations is a short 5 chapter book in the Old Testament.  Jeremiah mourns the destruction of Jerusalem at the hands of the Babylonians.  He does not question God's justice in allowing the suffering.  Jeremiah is appalled at the severity of Jerusalem's devastation.  At the same time he still trusts God's faithfulness and unfailing love.

I don't know what the gorilla represents, if anything at all.  I do know that I trust in The Lord enough that my soul cries out to him even when I'm not awake.

He loves me, He loves me not, He loves ME!

He loves me, He loves me not, HE loves ME!

 

Yesterday we celebrated Thanksgiving with my in-laws since we will be out of town on Thanksgiving Day.  My husband did all of the cooking, for which I am very grateful and lucky.  Therefore, I had time to sit down and write.  As I was writing, painful memories began to surface.  Tears started flowing and soon I was crying so hard I had to stop.  I took a break with Facebook.  One of my friends had posted the following Bible verse:

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through the fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you.  For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.  I give Egypt as your ransom, Cush and Seba in exchange for you.  Because you are precious in my eyes, and honored, and I love you, I give men in return for you, peoples in exchange for your life.  (Isaiah 43:2-4 ESV)

It was as if God was telling me, "You are precious in my eyes, and honored, AND I love YOU".

I am precious to the Lord.

I couldn't write any more.  I decided to listed to some music on the Praise and Worship station via iTunes Radio.  The first song to play was "Vision of You" by Shane & Shane.  I couldn't believe it!  God got my attention with this song before, so it has great meaning for me.  I wrote about this experience as well and will add it my blog for those of you who do not know the story.

I finally felt God's love for me.  Deep inside, I felt it.  It's almost impossible to describe in words because I was so overcome with emotion.  I cried and cried.  I'm crying right now as I struggle to share the experience.  I have always known God loves me, but to feel it and crumble inside because of it is something entirely different.

If you don't know the Lord or are far from him today, I encourage you to call on Him, right where you are.  Ask Him to be the Lord of your life.

Taste and see that the Lord is good, blessed is the one who takes refuge in him. (Ps 34:8)

I will walk through the fire and not be burned because I am precious and HE loves ME!

 

 

 

 

To Forgive or Not to Forgive?

I had a very interesting discussion with a friend of mine on the subject of forgiveness.  We were talking about the book The Shack  written by William P. Young, which is about a man's journey to forgive the man who brutally murdered his 5 year old daughter.  My friend's view of forgiveness lies in Luke 17:3 "...If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him."  The problem I have with this viewpoint is the murderer clearly is not a brother to the man, whose daughter he killed and repentance is highly unlikely.
On the other hand, my view of forgiveness lies in Matthew 6:15 "But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins."  Colossians 3:13 says, "Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another.  Forgive as the Lord forgave you."  It seems to me Luke and Colossians are addressing brothers in Christ forgiving one another and may not apply to the murderer. 
Delving further into scripture, Matthew 5:44-45 says, "Love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in Heaven."  Lastly I look to Romans 12:17-19, "Do not repay anyone evil for evil.  Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody.  If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.  Do not take revenge my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: 'it is mine to avenge; I will repay' says the Lord."

We are called to forgive.  We don't forgive for the one who hurt us. We forgive for ourselves.  We forgive to let go of bitterness, hurt, anger and fear.  We forgive because that's what the Lord calls us to do.  If we are Christians and the Bible is a lamp for our feet, the light shines on forgiveness.  Otherwise, we are left in the dark.

Unopened Gifts

Every one of us has been given a gift.  Think about Christmas Day. You have gifts under the tree waiting to be opened. Imagine your excitement, wondering what your gift will be and what you can do with it.

What if, for some reason, you never opened your gifts? The excitement you had disappears.  The imagining of how you could use it ceases.  Perhaps a tragedy occurred on Christmas Day and you left your gifts under the tree intentionally. The thought of opening them is too painful.  The gift is the same.  The attitude towards it has changed.  The gifts may be put away in a closet or under a bed somewhere.  Someday, they will be found again unexpectedly, while searching for something else.  The excitement returns....

What could it be?  Don't leave your gifts unopened this time.

Romans 12:6-8 We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. If a man's gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his faith.  If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach; if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully.

Land of the Living

God really amazes me sometimes.  I don't know why I continue to be perplexed about the love God has for me, for ALL of us.

Part of my homework this morning for 'Children of the Day', a study of Thessalonians by Beth Moore, was to read Psalms 25.  Since it is Saturday, I have more time, so I kept reading through chapter 27.  The last two verses resonated with me and I read them over and over, got out my highlighter and highlighted them.  When I completed my homework I opened my Jesus Calling App.  Today's title (Sept 27) is 'Relax in My Everlasting Arms'.  Guess which verses were referenced?  The last two verses of Psalms 27.  Some would call it coincidence.  I call it My Savior's persistent love for me, to let me know He hears my prayers, He hears my cries for help, and He is all I need. 

I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.

—Psalm 27:13–14

The Last Day

I wrote this poem a couple of years ago.  Adam is now 17 and I think this it means even more to me today.  Matthew 19:14 “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”

The Last Day

My 14 year old son,

Sat in my lap one day,

Just to be silly,

Just to say “hey”.

 

I sat there and thought…

When did he become as big as I?

I hold back the tears,

As I start to cry.

I try to remember,

THINK BACK!!!

It will come…

When was the last day,

 

That I rocked my son?

I can’t remember,

I don’t know,

which day it was.

The very last day

That I rocked my son.

gindy villarreal 3/21/12

Honduras-Day 3

I wrote this while Adam and I were on a mission trip in Tegucigalpa, Honduras back in June.  I wanted to put it on my blog and include some of the pics from our trip.

Day 3-First day to visit Jubilee School.

What I did not see today were luxury cars, manicured lawns or nice houses.  What I did not see today was an orderly drop off line, perfectly clean and pressed uniforms, or a beautiful campus.  No frantic stay at home moms or professional dads.  

 What I did see today on the bus ride to Jubilee was rush hour traffic with no order and motorcycles weaving in and out of buses and trucks.  The biggest vehicle goes first and a honk precedes each movement of every car on the jam packed road.  I saw trash in the streets and smog in the air.  I saw starving dogs and people digging through garbage for food.  I saw bars on windows and military police stationed randomly throughout the city.  Somehow, this made me feel safe.

Arrival at the school involves a person getting out to open a large solid metal gate.  The school is accessed through a steep cement driveway.  The stairs leading to the school are cement and steep.  The classrooms have bars on the windows except the windows have no glass.  No air conditioning, no heating.  I see one boy being tutored—outside. 

Our first stop at the school was during daily praise and worship at 8:00am.  We stood at the back of the room filled with children---everyone standing, no chairs.  I notice the paint peeling from the cinder block walls and the squeaky sound of the two ceiling fans.

Worship begins with Emily playing her guitar.  The songs are in Spanish, but it doesn’t matter.  The words are projected on the wall, so we all sing.  The feeling I have is almost indescribable.  I am moved to tears as the Holy Spirit fills the room.  Our surroundings did not matter.  How we got there did not matter.  The fact that we are brothers and sisters in Christ matter and we are worshipping our God together with these precious children.

I witnessed my son’s personal testimony of answered prayer for a little brother.  I saw him smile more than I ever have.  I see him answering his call to be a servant for the Lord. 

The children at Jubilee live a rough life with very little of the material world.  However, they are so full of joy and love.  They accepted us immediately, literally with open arms.  They could not give away enough hugs.  I ask myself how they could be so giving.  But I know the answer…….JESUS.

 

Romans 12:9-10 Let love be genuine.  Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another with brotherly affection in showing honor.

mamapossum

A Glimpse Into a Life

A friend of mine is going through a divorce.  Consequently, the house must be sold along with much of its contents.  She decided to have a garage sale to get rid of most of the items.  God has given me the gift of time, so I offered to help.  After the garage sale, a storage building out back still needed to be cleaned out.  Everything had to be sorted into piles: donate, keep or trash.  So many things were donated as well as trashed.  Relatively speaking she kept very little. 

 

We have only been friends for a few months, so I don’t know her that well.  I watch her examine the contents of each box.  Boxes filled with memories of her life, treasures from her parents, accomplishments from projects at work, artwork the kids have made in school, photos....

Sometimes she would laugh and say, “Oh, I remember this…”, and she would share her memory with me.  Other boxes she could quickly glance at and immediately send to the trash pile.  The hardest boxes were moved to the ‘keep’ pile, to deal with another time.   

 

I saw the pain on her face as her lips quivered and eyes filled with tears.  A lifetime of memories, a marriage torn apart, children’s hearts broken. 

 

There is nothing I can say.  No words can describe the devastation my friend feels.  Only God knows her heart and all that has happened.  He knows what each box meant to her.  He knows the rest of her story. 

 

Jeremiah 29:11-12

For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord.  Plans to prosper you and not to harm you.  Plans to give you hope and a future.  Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me and I will listen to you.

mamapossum



 





Grab an Oar

Grab an Oar

 

 

Last Sunday morning, before church, I had my usual quiet time with the Lord.  I didn't know what to read or pray.  I felt an old familiar sadness rolling in.  I am not an artist, but I drew a picture of myself in a rowboat with the oars floating off in the distance, out of reach.  I wasn't sure exactly what this was about, but it's how I felt.  I closed my eyes and held up my arms, with open hands, in total surrender to the Lord.  I would like to say that the sadness immediately went away, but that did not happen.  It lingered, as it often does.

 

I spoke to my mom on the phone later that day and she said she has started praying for me to find my niche, my ministry, here in Colleyville.  I hadn't told her about what I drew.  I was relieved and grateful for her prayers because I know what kind of power is be behind a praying mom.  I've experienced it firsthand with my own kids.  Later in the conversation I did tell her about the picture I drew and tried to explain some of what I was feeling.

 

Today I read in Sparkling Gems From the Greek by Rick Renner the following:

The bottom of the boat may not be the most pleasurable place to be.  Serving day in and day out may seem monotonous and almost boring at times.  But sticking with the vision and continuing to row will eventually produce eternal results for the Kingdom of God! So surrender to the plan of God, take your place in the ship, grab an oar, and start rowing!  If you want to get to your destination more quickly, put your whole heart and soul into rowing that boat.

JOY is what I feel today!  I feel it like I haven't in a very long time.  I know it can only come from the Lord.
God is beginning to blow the gentle breeze of direction.  It's up to me to grab an oar and start rowing.  His wind will carry me exactly where I need to be.

Colossians 3:23 "Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men"

Irrevocable Gifts

 

 

"...for God's gifts and his call are irrevocable."  Romans 11:29

 

This verse jumped off the page this morning.  The word gifts is plural, so not only have we been given a gift, we have received more than one.  AND it's irrevocable!

Irrevocable by definition is irreversible, unalterable, unchangeable, immutable, final, binding, permanent, and (my favorite) carved in stone.

 

The particular gift discussed here is the gift of mercy.  Verse 30 goes on to say, "Just as you who were at one time disobedient to God have now received mercy..."  Mercy that is irreversible, final, carved in stone.  I am going to be on the lookout for a stone that has the word MERCY engraved on it.  I never want to forget or take for granted the gift God has given me.  I was disobedient to God and He gave me a gift in return?  Yes.  Yes he did--undeserved mercy. 

 

Alongside mercy is His call.  Again, irrevocable, final, carved in stone.  I attended a Beth Moore conference a few weeks ago.  I received confirmation of the Lords' call on my life to teach others through writing (along with being a Godly wife and mother).  Since that time I have started this blog and hopefully someone has benefited.  My audience is small, but God is in the business of multiplying.

 

Here's the thing...

                       "...for God's gifts and his call are irrevocable."  Romans 11:29

A Thousand Words

A Thousand Words

July 22,2014

Today I sit on the back porch of a cabin on the banks of the Snake River.  The snow capped Grand Tetons are towering in the distance.  The cool mountain breeze blows a stray  hair across my face.  The constant flow of the river hypnotizes me.  I stare at the water as my mind clears; thinking of nothing but this moment.  Taking in the beauty of God's creation--Everything he spoke into being.
I take pictures of everything I see.  I want to share it with my friends and family back home.  I want to remember this moment, this feeling, this peace.
I want to take it with me...
But, with each picture I take I know I can never really share this moment with anyone.  It's so much more than what I see--what the camera captures.  A picture is worth a thousand words: TRUE.
However, it cannot hold onto the other four senses.  My picture does not record the sounds of the birds chirping; the ones I can't see, or the bubbling of the water over the rocks in the river bed. It does not convey the way my skin feels as it's warmed by the sun, then cooled by a breeze at the same time.  The smell of pine and mountain heather bring a smile to my face, while the taste of raspberry sweet tea lingers on my tongue.
I am grateful for the opportunity to spend time here.  I am thankful to God my father and the Lord Jesus Christ.
A special verse comes to mind today.
Isaiah 55:12 "You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the fields will clap their hands".

mamapossum

Deactivating Facebook

DeActivate – free Your Mind

January 24, 2014

My first day after deactivating Facebook is, simply put—strange.  I keep picking up my phone to scroll through ‘New Stories’ or see if anyone ‘Likes’ the photo I recently uploaded.  Has anyone ‘Commented’ on the post I commented on earlier?  Oh, wait…the Facebook App is GONE.  What should I do?  My mind is a jumble of activity, almost buzzing.  I feel like someone who has just given up smoking or drinking—COLD TURKEY.  Physically I am a little bit shaky.  Not good!!  I know the only way to get through this is with the Lord, so I am speaking out loud Philippian’s 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”.

I have to admit, I am very surprised by how addicted I have become to Facebook.  It’s become a physical “need”.  It does something to my brain, that I have a need to repeat every 20 minutes or so, but if I really want to be honest it’s more like every other minute.  What is going on here?  I think I’m a pretty average person, so surely I’m not the only one experiencing this.  Right?

The really scary thing for me, as a Christian, is that I start each day reading my Bible (renewing my mind) and spending time with the Lord in prayer.  Romans 12:2 says, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will”.  However, after taking the kids to school, I would turn to Facebook to see what I’ve missed since the night before.  As I think about this and ponder “Why”, I realize I have experienced, via Facebook, every emotion the Bible says to get rid of in Ephesians 4:31 “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.”  I admit, I had to look up malice.  Malice is a desire to harm others or to see others suffer; extreme ill will or spite.  CHECK!  

I also experienced the occasional envy and jealously when my “friends” posted pics of their fabulous trips, kids, husbands, dogs, cats, family members and so on.

All of these negative emotions are running around in my head and I have the desire for more?  Trust me when I say Facebook is NOT a cure for insomnia.  Ephesians 5:15-16 says, “Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil”.  For me, looking at Facebook every other minute is not making the most of every opportunity.                    

I Thessalonians 4:11 says, “Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you…”  I don’t think it needs to be said that Facebook is about everybody’s business and definitely not working with my hands.  I should be able to get the laundry and dishes done more efficiently now that my phone is not constantly in my hand.

Maybe it is simply the Holy Spirit reinforcing II Corinthians 6:17 “Therefore come out from them and be separate, says the Lord.” Chapter 7:1 says…”let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God.

There is so much more to be said on the subject of social media and the attention it takes away from our marriages, children, friends, pets and even the upkeep of our homes.  To be continued…

 April 6^th

Facebook free for over 2 months!  Whoo-hoo!!  My mind is much clearer and my focus has returned to my home.  Titus 2:3-5 tells us to be busy at home.  Scrolling Facebook does not qualify as “busy at home”.  In fact, it is the exact opposite.  Proverbs 31:27 says “She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness”.  Idleness=Bread?  Huh?  I've never looked at it that way.  We all love bread, but too much is never a good thing.  Isn’t there a Gluten-free craze in our society?

June 2^nd

It’s been a little more than 4 months since getting off Facebook.  The “need “for it is completely gone.  I do miss the occasional pictures of cousin’s babies, nieces and nephews and reading about my brother’s love for all things bacon.  I feel a slight disconnect with certain groups of friends.  What I have discovered is texting or actually picking up the phone to call and talk to a friend eliminates the disconnect, and I feel it’s a win-win for me and my friend.  Even when I was on Facebook and involved in everybody’s business, but my own, I still felt disconnected and lonely at the end of the day. We do need friends.  Ecclesiastes 4:10 tells us, “If one falls down, his friend can help him up.  But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!”

The best person to “friend” is Jesus and his book is The Holy Bible.  Turn your face to Him, read it, speak it and spend time in prayer.  It’s the only way to find peace……then share it with someone else. Maybe one of your friends?

Gindy Villarreal

aka: mamapossum